At Silver Lining Mentoring where I’ve worked the past few years, we have a little nugget of wisdom in our possession, and it’s this: connections matter.

Don’t believe me right away? Ask Harvard.

I watch a lot of Ted Talks. Like a lot. And one of the most memorable talks I’ve ever seen was given by Dr. Robert Waldinger, Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. This longitudinal study started in the late 1930s – well before the invention of instant pudding – and has been going strong for over 80 years as the longest running study on happiness.

The study asks a very simple question: What is the key to living a long, successful, happy life? Okay, maybe it’s not that simple.

It all started in 1938 with 268 Harvard sophomores (this included John F. Kennedy, interestingly) who were studied, pricked, prodded, and scrutinized in every aspect of their physical and mental health throughout the decades. Researchers collected hordes of medical records, conducted hundreds of in-person interviews, observations, questionnaires, the works. The study expanded to partners and children of the original participants, encompassing one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies ever to make it to the TED stage.

Impressively, as of today the study has analyzed at least 1,300 individuals branching off the original participant family tree. It’s expanded in control groups over the decades to include inner-city residents, showing that the take-home lessons don’t just apply to the target Harvard grads.

The result? We’ve been waiting for this. 🙌🏽

Invest in quality relationships. It’s the most resounding lesson learned by researchers over and over: there is a strong correlation between a thriving life (AKA, that elusive happiness) and participants’ quality relationships with family, friends, and community. That sounds like a correlation to pay attention to.

And there’s more. This extends way beyond happiness – this is about living longer, too. If I asked you to choose the best predictor of people’s physical health at age fifty, would you guess cholesterol levels? That could be tempting. Or would you guess level of satisfaction with their relationships?

Unsurprisingly from what we’ve learned, it’s the latter.

The results of the study are awakening, especially to a world that has not historically equated healthy aging with things like empathy or attachment. Waldinger says that quite simply, our relationships influence our health. Taking care of your body is important, but cultivating relationships is a profound way to take care of yourself as well. Just think of the last time you talked to a close friend, felt heard, or made a connection – isn’t this often what helps us make it through the day?

Beyond wealth, social status, or TikTok fame, close relationships are what appear to maintain happiness throughout our lives. They help delay mental health decline, boost physical health and longevity, and are even better predictors of a thriving life than social class, IQ, or biological genes. Hence these findings held true as strongly for Harvard grads as for their families (women weren’t part of original study as the college was still all male), as well as for the additional inner-city participants in the study.

How about we take these findings and do something with them? Like increase that flow of relational connection for young people to help them thrive, long-term? Our answer at Silver Lining is mentoring, and I’d bet one year’s Harvard tuition that Waldinger would approve.

This is why we do the work we do at Silver Lining Mentoring for youth impacted by foster care. We facilitate personal connections for young people and develop solid emotional supports for them to lean into. In our programs, we create additional space and networks that support them in building life skills for their present and future. We know that early life experiences affect emotional health and healthy aging over time, and so we are most dedicated to those who are just starting out on this journey.

And so we’ll continue doing what we’re doing. Good relationships protect our bodies, and they protect our minds. They are a resounding protective factor for wellbeing in a world that often doesn’t have enough of it.

I’ll leave it with this final question. How will you cultivate a good relationship today?